Saturday, December 14, 2013

9 Cara Atasi Masalah Pilih Kasih.

Assalamualaikum. Saya stress. Saya stress sangat sangat sekarang ni. Ok. Babai. Tak guna kita nak stress stress sangat sebab lagi stress lagi takde sape nak tolong kan sebab takkan ada orang yang lebih faham kecuali Allah swt. Jadi jom kita baca benda alah ni ok...hurm jom ambil hati sendiri :'(

pilih kasih ke atau tak pilih kasih ke. tepuk dahi tanya diri sendiri.

1. Consider whether it really is favoritism by looking at all sides of the issue. Your parents may relate differently to your sibling, and and act differently around them, but not favor them. They may not realize that they make you feel as though they favor your sibling.

2. Make a list with examples of how they show it and how it makes you feel. This can be a mental list or a real list, which you will use later to speak to your parents. Try to come up with specific examples to back up what you're saying. ****Apesal yang nombor 2 ni macam sengal je ? Bajet nak menang dalam hujah yang akan dibentangkan..memang harapan laa.... ****

3. Approach your parents when both of you are in good, calm moods. Ask if you can speak with them about something important, and make sure your tone is non-accusatory. ****ofcos sepanjang waktu kena control ni...tapi sorrylah kalau terlepas juga kadang kadang tu...****

4. Explain how you feel, using examples to back yourself up. Remember not to get angry, or use the examples as accusations. Once you get angry, they may clam up and stop listening. You want this to be a discussion where you both can share your sides of the story, not an argument about what they're doing wrong. ****erm, yang ni takleh pulak kenapa selalu end up so badly****

5. End the discussion if the tone becomes angry. Some parents don't want to listen, and will become angry if you explain that you feel they are playing favorites. If they don't listen and get angry, or if you feel yourself angry, prevent the discussion from becoming an argument. ****dah selalu sangat jadi macam tu kan....emmm malas nak cita balik balik saya juga yang salahnye ~****


6. Don't blame yourself or your siblings. Jealousy can make it hard to avoid blaming your siblings, and anger can make it had for you to avoid blaming yourself. However, blame does not fix this problem, and tends to make you focus too much on anger you may feel. ****tarik nafas....Allah Allah tolonglah selamatkan hambaMu ni....****


7. Work for yourself, not your parents. Avoid seeking their approval for everything, and have pride in yourself. This will help you see that not being the "favorite" does not mean you are not as good. ****ohyeah ? okay okay...boleh diterima akal...****


8. Begin a private journal to vent in. Sometimes, the anger will get to you, and you will need to vent. Don't worry, just get your feelings out so you can allow yourself to move on from them. ****blog ni ha public journal....ok tak ? move on la ni...konon laaa****


9. Become more independent. It can be tough to deal with parents that shower your sibling in gifts and money, yet give you a hard time when you ask for something. If you're old enough, look for a job to earn things for yourself. Spend more time outside of your home in a more accepting and supportive environment. ****more time outside ??? crazee apa...xleh xleh..disebabkan keperimanusiaan yang menebal...otak akan sentiasa berfikir jap g sape nak buat tu buat ni buat ni buat tu...****

  • Having parents who show favoritism does not mean your siblings are better than you. Try not to let this affect your self-esteem****aaaa memang down pun....nak be alone je...malas nak layan orang****
  • If you have a discussion with your parents and they do try to improve, remember to let them know how they're doing. If you feel they're showing favoritism, ask them in private why they acted that way. Explain your side and make sure you listen to theirs as well. ****Explanation ?? nak kena bebel...try laaaa....****
  • Try to be nice and tell them how you feel.
  • Try discussing the issue with your siblings, since they may be able to help. Sometimes both feel like the other is the favorite, and discussing it allows them to see that they're both loved. If your sibling does notice it and is willing to help, you could ask that they discuss the issue with your parents or ask if they could help you arrange a family discussion. Remember, this is a discussion, not an argument, so avoid acting confrontational.
#Im so affected to this. Stressed,spoiled,damaged...whatever words you can call it. Im becoming low and slow.

Babai assalamualaikum :')

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