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Monday, February 02, 2009

aku sebutir pasir.


Just so you know, I switched my blog to private mood for a moment. Everyone need their private time right? So do I. I’m not here to explain what happen, just here to keep updating this blog.

Lets flashback.

If you were me at the age of 19, what would you do if someone broke your dream and forces you to be somebody else?

I was 19 at that time. I got a hot blood and so many rebels towards anything that blocks my way. I badly refuse when I was forced by my parents to be a teacher. I didn’t remember how bad I cried on my pillow when all efforts that had been taken to lose up all the qualification to enter the teacher institute were all broke.

For the moment I get into the institute, I know that’s my destiny. I’d throw away all the negatives feeling inside my head and start to be accountable as a daughter to obey my parent’s orders. I keep my mind to stay focus on my study for a 5 ½ years, therefore I will be out to be real teacher with a bachelor title. Out to be somebody that gratifies my parent’s wished me to be. It’s all sound a very happy ending. *clap clap*

But what about my dream? *sigh* what about the dream that I kept list down to my report card since I was in standard one? Do people really care? I had once dreamt to be a scientist, a great cartoonist /artist and an architect. But that’s all been vanquish away now. Even the skills I’ve had are faded and become zero (that’s what I call from hero to zero). Sadly say, I become really down when I looked back at my artwork that I used to work on with. I don’t have that skills anymore, its all gone. *wah mengapa sgt sedih ini story*

The more pressure comes up when people starts to be so judgmental on me. You know, it’s like a burden when people put teacher as a very honour person. If you do something wrong, people will hate you. Condemn in every ways they could do. That’s the strong evidence why we always hear complaints from mothers who always point out that their child is good and the teacher is bad. ( ohh, I really hate that statement, they should see how their child really behave in school, kids nowadays just like an evil . I rather become a counselor rather than teaching noty kids.)

Im gonna finish up what I started. Its only 1 ½ years to go. A clean heart, a clean mind, a good teacher, a good daughter.

Pedulik ape aku dengan grammar errors?!

Salam.

 

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